A Changing Sense of Entitlement

"The sense of entitlement, the sense that because we once dominated global commerce and geopolitics – and Olympic basketball – we always will, the sense that delayed gratification is a punishment worse than a spanking, the sense that our kids have to be swaddled in cotton wool so that nothing bad or disappointing or stressful every happens to them at school is, quite simply, a growing cancer on American society. And if we don't start to reverse it, our kids are going to be in for a huge and socially disruptive shock from the flat world."The above quote is taken from page 303 of a book called, The World is Flat, by Michael Friedrich. This book helps you to take a look at the growing competetiveness of developing countries in the world, how the business of communication is allowing these countries to work for and against us, and how on a global scale of competetiveness--we're in trouble(if we don't buck up).

As Americans in over the better part of the last century we have known a world where we are on top, no questions asked. Our predecessors and fellow countrymen have always outworked, out smarted, and out fought the rest of the world. In a way, we have had a quiet sense of security that only we could do this. According to Friedrich, that quiet sense is a poison that could potentially knock us off our pedestal in world standing. I have a tendency to agree with this part of the book, especially after two years of work in the public education system! Kids in high school today (and 8 years ago when I was there) believe they are entitled to some thing they have never had to fight for. Unfortunately in our lifetime I believe this is an attitude from which we will all have a rude awakening, and we may have to fight for our standing all over again.

Decades ago it was widely believed impossible for a runner would be able to run a mile in less that four minutes. A barrier was created around that four minute mark that blocked runner after runner! Finally, Roger Bannister (not an American) came along in 1954 ignoring the barrier and ran the world's first sub-four minute mile. Now get this: within two years more than 30 additional runners also broke the record! The barrier was smashed and the flood gates opened for anyone that wanted to work hard enough. World competetiveness is not all that different in my opinion. The United States has been dominating the planet ignoring and smashing all kinds of barriers, leading the way. Should you now be surprised that other countries are catching up faster, and even exceeding Americans on many levels? I don't think so. You should be strategizing about how you are going to prepare your kid for the changing world and enstilling in them the work ethic that surpasses that of our competitors--we need to erase the entitlement mentality from our country's young people. (Subsequently the current record for the mile is three minutes and forty three seconds...set by Hicham El Guerrouj who is also not an American.)

As we march into another year we are about to embrace one of America's great priveleges - the election of another president. We now have a responsibility to select a leader that will be challenged with the work of removing this sense of entitlement and installing a system of progress. It will mean more than breaking down barriers between political parties, or balancing a budget. The next four years needs to contain a beginning to a new rejuvenation of 'go get it' mentality in America. Ronald Regan said, "All great change in America begins at the dinner table." We need to select a leader that will start by restoring respect to family values, someone that will stand for what is right and not necessarily what we'd like. We need a leader that puts less emphasis on big government and more power back into the family and local leaders. If we select a President that will increase taxes to pay for all their campaign promises, we begin turning our power over to the Feds and therefore reducing our own need (or our kid's need) to work hard and define our own destiny. Do you think the young scholar in India who will work for years earning pennies just to have a chance at getting your job someday cares about your salary or house payment? The answer is no! They have the same financial problems that you and I do. In the world today developing countries have seen us break down barriers for decades, and now they are fighting for their chance! If you think they are going to stop just because America has been outworking everyone in the last 100 years, you are mistaken; we are not entitled to anything. We need to select a leader that can motivate Americans to get off their obese emotional issues and start creating a new change from the grass roots levels.

This year we are going to be inundated with television ads, CNN reports, Presidential debates, yards signs, and more. You'll be tempted to say, "I'm so sick of all this political B.S." This is completely understandable as everything has its very own marginal point of return. However, I urge you to take an active role in your local political process. You might jump in and work on your favorite candidate's campaign, perhaps you'll donate money, maybe you'll take a stand for your beliefs and try to motivate others. Which ever way you do it, I emplore you to get involved! This is a great privelege, and an opportunity in 2008 to be a part of great change in America. Your attitude towards the political process this year is going to be mirrored in your children and friends in the coming years. Take a moment to think about the priveleges we have as Americans and ask yourself, "Do I want others to take this for granted?" It is time to get active and stand for what you believe in, or at least stand for what your children will believe in...after all we're entitled to nothing.

Cloth Diaper Adventure

"Ooh, you're brave!" is the number one response Vanessa and I have received thus far when we let people know that we have elected cloth diapers. Is this so...are we really all that brave? I guess so, because that is what everyone keeps telling us. Let's quickly discuss the benefits though.

First, two words: Carbon Footprint? Lots of folks are going green these days, and it is not because St. Paddy's day is just around the corner. Environment is important, kinda like life...we only get one. So tell me what Huggies is doing to help that? Perhaps they are researching the course of folding a diaper that degrades quickly. Super. My Mom (and millions of moms before) had it right. One word: Cloth.

Next Argument: Cost. Estimated investment in cloth diapers and related equipment (good for 3-4 kids): $400-$475. Estimated cost of raising a kid in disposable diapers until the age of 2: $2,000! Need I say more?

But isn't it harder to use Cloth than disposable diapers?
Another myth busted. I have been timing myself (because I can) and have found that I can disengage the diaper, wipe, clean, powder or cream, and strap a clean linen on in less than 3 minutes. I have only been a Dad for 13 days at this point...just imagine where we can go with that.

But you have to wash them...
So what? You explain to your kid why you chose to use environmentally unfriendly butt wraps, when someday their kid's new school building couldn't be built because the construction company sucked up a bag of huggies while drilling for it's underground water source.

Happiness is not a goal; it is a by-product

At 8:02am on Tuesday, January 29th little Ms. Norah Elizabeth Jewell joined our world. She weighed seven pounds and two ounces, measuring 20.25 inches long. The beginnings of higher cover most of her wonderfully shaped head, there are ten fingers and toes, and a healthy set of lungs! Just as dozens of friends, family members, and even strangers have predicted - Life has changed.

This is a change for the better. The litmus test that assures me this is better comes from many lessons learned in my own upbringing. That test? This is hard! I was taught that in order for something to be worth while it should be hard, or at least a hard decision. Not everyone would do this if it were in fact easy, and after one week of fatherhood I can verify the hardness of this test. However, there is one addition. You know something is worth while if it is hard to do, but you also feel good doing it! I have never felt like this, and that is why I know this change is so great.

Little Norah is a beauty. She is worth it, no matter how hard, and I know in the end of each segment of the day that I am in fact happy. As I look back on it, when we decided to have a baby we weren't necessarily seeking happiness. We were seeking something that we would both share in. This was to be a family project, and we would both participate fully to raise this little being (As if two Black Labs and a cat weren't enough). As a by-product we are now receiving happiness for something we chose to do together - out of love.

Scared & Excited

One of Owen Wilson's best lines in the movie Armageddon comes as they are being strapped in to a suped up version of the Space Shuttle. He says, "I'm like 98% excited and 2% scared, or is it 98% scared and 2% excited...I'm not sure, I'm so confused!" You can believe with 100% assurance that this is how I am feeling at this point. My wife Vanessa is due with our first child, and could theoretically go into labor at just about any minute. Am I excited or scared; scared or excited? I don't know to be truthful.

Vanessa has been handling this whole life altering event with such grace that you'd think she is a descendent of royalty. You never see them going through the major pains of the life creation process. Sure, she has magically grown an entire basketball in her belly. There are pains and cramps that I have never heard any human being mention before. Sometimes she yells at me for no apparent reason, without warning. However, I have to say that through it all my wife has never been more beautiful, and so full of grace, that I actually don't mind making the bed once in a while - just to be nice.

I on the other hand am significantly less prepared for this whole 'Dad' thing. What does this mean for me? How does it all work any way? What if there really is bad traffic on the way to the hospital? Suppose she goes into labor while we're at work...what then? I hate it when kids cry. Will it be different when its mine? My nieces and nephews were easy...I just gave them back! How am I going to react when they tell me it is a boy or a girl? Of course I want a boy, what male in his right mind doesn't? I'd rather worry about one boy, rather than all the others in town! As long as it is healthy though, that is the main thing right?

Right now, I spend my days working in a high school where two hundred plus hormonally imbalanced teenagers roam the classrooms and hallways. Sorry Moms and Dads, but I see and hear about all the stuff you never hear of; the things you claim that, "my child would never do." You know what? You're wrong. Your kid does do that, and truly this is the primary reason I am scared to be a Dad - its the stuff I'm never going to hear about that makes me worry.It is the curiosity however that has me excited! Something is coming out of there any time now and it is going to be my responsibility.

This is like the ultimate untimed test. My curiosity causes my mind to race, questioning my own ability to do the job. I mean, it isn't like we're filling in bubble sheets here where the answer C is most likely to be right given the situation where I don't know the answer. C is average. If my kid gets a C I am going to be pissed. I don't want to guess. But I am still curious...how will this whole thing go? Am I going to enjoy it? Some say curiosity is what killed the cat. We have a cat - if he goes, then I'll really be worried.